There is a helium shortage, unless you are Mr. Balloon

Here is the giant balloon I need to fill with helium. It is all folded up in the picture, so it may look smaller than it actually is (quarter added for size comparison), but believe you me, it is a doozie. Perhaps I waited a little too long to order the helium for it. I thought three weeks out would be plenty of time, but when I made the call to Airgas, the local medical supply company, they scared me by telling me about a so-called "helium shortage." Yup. That's what he said. Your basic helium shortage. I asked the guy for 175 cubic feet of the gas and he said "wellp, let me see what I have in stock, but there is a helium shortage, you know." He looked it up and said that he indeed had it in stock but that I would have to fill out some paperwork in order to be eligible to order it. He offered to fax the application over to me, but I informed him of the so-called "fax machine shortage," which apparently he didn't know about. Glad to help spread the word. He said that he could alternatively email it to me but that email still hasn't come. I guess fax machines are much faster than email machines, which might explain the shortage.

In any case, I decided to look for alternative sources of helium. I busted out my email machine and started perusing the internet. What I found was a man named "Mr. Balloon." Mr. Balloon also informed me of the helium shortage, but also made it clear that he had no problem getting me all the helium that I needed. He is, after all, Mr. Balloon; if anyone has a giant stockpile of helium it would be him. Mr. Balloon is also not effected by the fax machine shortage and sent me an email right away confirming delivery for Tuesday. Gotta love that Mr. Balloon.